Jokes thread!!! (revived 2013)

Anything and everything thats not N12 related.
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Ash
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Re: **A son asks**

Post by Ash » Sat May 29, 2010 1:39 am

evski88 wrote:a son asks his dad what's the difference between "theoretically" & "realistically". dad says that's hard, but i have a idea. ask mum would she sleep with the milkman for 1million dollars. "mum says yes". dad says now ask your sister if she'll sleep with the newspaper man for 2million dollars. sister says yes. well there you go son, that's your answer,theoretically we're sitting on 3million dollars,but realistically we're living with 2 sluts.
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let me kno if that was 2 much if not i got plenty more :) haha

love this joke. :wink:

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Andjeti
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Post by Andjeti » Sat May 29, 2010 2:51 am

The next state of origin broadcast has been moved to the adult channel. Apparently 17 NSW assholes being hammered for 80 minutes is too explicit for free to air...
"Dog's go Woof Woof. Wog's go Doof Doof"
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evski88
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charity ball

Post by evski88 » Mon May 31, 2010 10:24 pm

keep saturday night free, were going to a charity ball for women with no legs. They reckon the dance floor will be crawling with pussy. :P

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evski88
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be warned

Post by evski88 » Mon May 31, 2010 10:36 pm

Be warned. shopping scam in coles while packing shopping in car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18yr old girls in tight tiny tops. They wash your screen with their tits hanging out and ask for a lift to the next shop as payment. On the way they strip and go down on each other. Then 1 climbs in front and sucks you off. The other then nicks your wallet! I had mine stolen last tues & wed, twice on thurs, and again on saturday. be carefull.

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evski88
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friends of yours

Post by evski88 » Mon May 31, 2010 10:44 pm

Hey im sittin here with a few friends of yours they reckon use go way back my phones gonna die call me on (08)82673255

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evski88
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dad & 6yr old son

Post by evski88 » Mon May 31, 2010 10:53 pm

dad and 6yr old son in garden see 2 spiders & son asks "is that a mummy-long legs under that daddy-long legs?" Dad says "No son, there are no mummy-longlegs only daddy-longlegs." Dad felt very proud of his answer until son stomps on both saying, "we'll have none of that gay Shit in our garden, hey dad!!"

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Ash
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Post by Ash » Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:35 am

Why men don't write advice columns -

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work
leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't
driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and
the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's
help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our
bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 41, my husband is 44, and
the neighbour's daughter is 22.

We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke
down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past
six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go
from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling
increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever
since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He
won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila


Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is
no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes
and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the
fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the
injectors.

I hope this helps,

Walter

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EXAMADNESS
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Post by EXAMADNESS » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:05 am

:lol: :lol:

Check this out, made me laugh my ass off :lol: :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REM8JTrCt04

:wink:
Mazda FE powered 2.0 16v N12 exa : http://forum.n12turbo.com/viewtopic.php?t=6592
Mazda 2.5 v6 KLDE into Nissan Exa "project" : http://forum.n12turbo.com/viewtopic.php?t=7442

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sgs
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Post by sgs » Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:43 am

This is Golden


Subject: FW: Worth thinking about Peter Cosgrove interview

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

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Ash
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Post by Ash » Sun Sep 12, 2010 3:40 pm

^^ :lol:

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sgs
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Post by sgs » Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:55 pm

greatest come back of all time? :lol:

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TurboZ.Dude
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Post by TurboZ.Dude » Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:36 am

ROFLMFAO!

What happens when you put a pacifist and a military guy in the same room? :lol: (I don't know the answer to this one, made it up just now)
My N12:
http://forum.n12turbo.com/viewtopic.php?t=4926,
http://www.zxoc.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6345
http://forums.mightycarmods.com/showthr ... Pulsar-N12
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in all honesty dude these cars are shit but they have so much character, are fun and go fairly well when running right. we still play around with these things because they are a fun addictive little shitbox! :D - Ash

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Ash
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Post by Ash » Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:50 am

A recent study showed New Yorkers to be the fastest readers . . . . Apparently they can go through twenty stories in seconds.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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TurboZ.Dude
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Post by TurboZ.Dude » Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:19 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: That was a lousy joke, but definitely funny!
My N12:
http://forum.n12turbo.com/viewtopic.php?t=4926,
http://www.zxoc.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6345
http://forums.mightycarmods.com/showthr ... Pulsar-N12
Image
in all honesty dude these cars are shit but they have so much character, are fun and go fairly well when running right. we still play around with these things because they are a fun addictive little shitbox! :D - Ash

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sgs
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Post by sgs » Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:22 pm

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